The Student is Not Your Friend

Sixth Formers are an odd crowd. On the cusp of adulthood, for many these can be their best years in compulsory education. You're either the eldest at secondary school, treated like an elite crops. Or you're at college, which is a more grown-up version. Many are contemplating or actively planning three years away from home. At the time, it seems so grown up.

But sixth formers are still children. Acting like an adult, looking like an adult, is no substitute for being an adult, with adult concerns. Even the most mature of them have not experienced a fraction of real life.

This can pose an enormous challenge for staff who work with this age, especially youngish members of staff (such as yours truly). I was born in the same decade as all the students at my college, with only a five year gap between me and the eldest upper sixth. Many of them have siblings older than me. Because of this, it is very easy to think of the nicer ones as being 'like friends.' (within a given definition of friend). The problem is, when they act up, as they often do, you can be exposed to a huge sense of disappointment.

Take what I call my 'awkward squad' of upper sixth students. They're seemingly very nice, even if they can't stop talking, hugging, and throwing stuff around. Hidden depths and all that. Yesterday, I went over to ask them to keep it down, and got this response:

"Right, I'm not in the mood to listen to you right now, so don't bother talking to me, and I'll keep quiet, ok?"

If you've made the mistake of forgetting that these are not your friends, this would have been a big slap in the face. As it was, I quelled my response ("I'm not in the mood to talk to you on any of the days ending in a 'y', but beggars can't be choosers, eh?!") and got on with my day. But it did bring home that these people are just children, for all their self-projected adulthood.

But I also truly understood what the staff guidelines mean when they say we must act like a 'responsible parent' towards the students. Yes, it means keeping a proper professional barrier between you and the students in your care. And yes, it does mean you can share in their good times. But it also means you'd better be prepared for disappointment from time to time.

P.S. On the offchance any of my Explorers read this, it doesn't apply to you... but that's another post for another day!