Operator: Can you confirm your name, date of birth and first line of your address please?
Me: Details here...
O: Ok Mr Murphy, what can we do for you?
M: Can I have an appointment with Dr Heatley please?
O: Oh, dear, um, you're only down as a temporary resident on the screen, you'll need to come in and fill out a form so we can put you back on the screen.
M: Um... ok... didn't you say I was on the screen?
O: Yes, but you're not there as well.
I appear to be suffering an existential crisis...
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