Woman- "Excuse me, but I'm going to have to ask you to stop playing short tennis on that court, you're disrupting us and it frankly isn't safe."
Me- "Oh I'm really sorry, we'll be more careful with our serves in future, would it help if we swapped sides?"
Woman- "No, I'd prefer it if you stopped completely. That ball you're using is unsafe."
Me- "Well, it is safe really, it is a soft ball..."
Woman- "Look, if you're going to be like that, I shall have to complain to the centre manager."
Me- "I've actually already spoken to him, he told us it was OK to use it."
Woman- "Oh dear, well that is disappointing... I think that's a bad reflection on the staff, don't you?"
Me (in a moment of brilliance)- "I AM a member of staff at this centre."
Woman- "Well... I... Can you just stop playing?"
I finally agreed to do so, but when I went back to play badminton instead, it turned out the whole thing was so her children could play on my court for free... That didn't go down well...
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