There isn't really any undramatic way to start this, but I'll try. Yesterday I got mugged on the way to a friend's house. Sounds dramatic. At the time, I was shocked. Now, it looks pretty hilarious really. To help all those planning a robbery, I've put together a handy checklist based on my experience:
DO
Make sure you're nice and polite to the victim; if you're going to take things from him or her, at least have a chat about the day.
Ensure the victim isn't a penniless student. Otherwise you might be disappointed when you open the wallet.
Remember to pretty much hand the victim one of your weapons while you help him look for his wallet. Which you've just taken.
Check the age of any MP3 player you're about to steal. Ensure it isn't four years old, and that more than two buttons work.
Offer to return the MP3 player you've just taken. Even if your accomplice stops you, its a nice thought.
Return the wallet with all the cards in it, without even looking at them. Otherwise that'd just be bang out of order.
DO NOT
Use what appears to be a butter knife as a threatening weapon. Even the merest thought it might be a kitchen utensil can immediately help the victim to feel much better.
Or, for that matter, a piece of fence panel. This also looks silly.
Use each other's names. This is just daft.
Empty the meagre contents of the wallet onto the floor. If said victim is a penniless student, this won't help matters at all.
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